Return My Love
by Itachiforever342
Summary: Inspired by Angle1's "My Love" series! Chizuru refuses to take a lifemate and runs, only for fate to lead her back into the arms of her fated one...Kenji.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything! I give credit to Christine Feehan, Nobuhiro Watsuki, and Angle1, who's "My Love" series inspired this fic!

 **EDIT FOR THE GUEST WHO REVIEWED THIS FIC: Angle1 knows about this and she's quite flattered I've written it! If you don't believe me, PM her!  
**

This whole thing's a mess, but mind you, I wrote this in two spurts, so I don't think it even holds a candle to the original material. Stupid plot bunnies... DX

* * *

 **Return My Love**

Chizuru sprinted in her wolf form, away from the compulsive feeling she had at going back to her family home. Being half shapeshifter, she'd had a natural talent at changing her form to any animal, taking after her mother. She could still remember her father's words on her eighteenth birthday:

" _Now is the time you must have your coming-of-age ball, so you can find your lifemate."_

Her mother had almost bounced up and down in glee. _"We get to go to Romania! I've never been there, and it would be so awesome to see other Carpathians outside our group! Itsuko talks of it when I ask and it sounds cool!"_

Her father had placed a hand on the tiny woman's shoulder. _"Calm yourself, lifemate. You might hurt the baby."_

After only seventeen years after her birth, her mother had become pregnant, something that hadn't happened before in their group, and everything seemed just fine, since her mother was very close to giving birth again. Chizuru didn't like that the whole "lifemate" thing was all about obeying your mate and having babies until you couldn't anymore. She didn't want to automatically love someone she hadn't met before. She was stubborn like her mother had been when she'd met her lifemate, and she'd heard her mother mumble sometimes that their first mating and her conception had been the result of a brutal fight ending in a rape and her death, only to get brought back to life by her lifemate. He'd been put into the earth as punishment, and she'd been sent back to her people, the shapeshifting werewolves. Her lifemate had come from his prolonged stay in the earth _prematurely_ to rescue his wife and unborn child, only to tell her mother that he'd _forced_ her to become pregnant through a latent ability he'd discovered.

WHAT IF HE DID THE SAME FOR HER ONCE SHE'D BEEN BEDDED BY HER LIFEMATE?!

All these thoughts had gone through her mind as her parents had waited for her reaction to the news of her chance at finding a lifemate.

" _Chizuru?"_ her mother had prompted when she hadn't answered for a full ten minutes. _"You okay?"_

" _I don't want to go,"_ she'd muttered, then left the room.

Her father had followed her to the front door and placed a hand on her shoulder. _"Chizuru, this has been planned for months. You know it's your destiny to find your lifemate and be bonded to him."_

She'd whirled around and shouted, her large blue eyes on fire, her hair in a high ponytail following her angry movement, _"I'M NOT GOING, OKAY?! I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP MY FREEDOM SO I'LL BE PUSHED AROUND BY SOME MALE WHO CLAIMS HE'S KNOWN ME ALL HIS LIFE! IT'S MY LIFE, NOT HIS!"_

With that she'd left the house.

Now she was running through the woods, her sides heaving as she pushed herself harder than she ever had before.

' _Chizuru, you get back here right now or I'm gonna kick your ass once I have your sibling!'_ her mother ordered sharply through their mental link, although she also sounded close to tears instead of furious.

' _NO! I WON'T BE TIED DOWN LIKE YOU!'_ she screeched back, her pace increasing to an all-out sprint.

' _Come back,_ now _,'_ her father stated with so much compulsion in his tone that she almost wheeled around.

She dug her claws into the ground and kept up her determined pace, her mind blank save forcing herself to run against her father's wishes. She might be a fledgling female, but she wasn't going to be forced to come back like a tiny child. She was going to hide where no male would find her and never come out.

Of course, her father saw through her plan and replied to her thoughts, _'There isn't a place like that in this world. Even if you run for the rest of your life, you'll be drawn to your lifemate. Your footsteps are leading yourself to him even as we speak.'_

' _I_ won't _let him get close enough to say those cursed words to me, even if I have to kill myself. It serves him right for even existing to rule over my life.'_

' _But Chizuru…'_ her mother began, hesitant, which was unlike her. _'What if your lifemate is Kenji? Do you really want him to embrace the dawn because you decided to be selfish and not accept him? You know he's a good man, and you were best friends when you were younger.'_

' _Or worse, turn vampire for his own father to have to hunt down and destroy?'_ her father added with anger lacing his question.

' _I don't care anymore. I'm not going to be_ anyone's _mate, and that's that.'_

She blocked her connection with them and left all remnants of civilization behind.

* * *

Whether it was days, weeks, months, years, decades, or centuries, she ran, never stopping save to eat, which was cold blood from wherever she could sneak into. She stayed a wolf and didn't let herself be drawn into any type of intelligent life, all it was was running, eating and sleeping. Whenever she had the need to stop and stay in a place which was beyond hunger or fatigue, she turned the opposite way.

No lifemate, not ever.

And yet, her paws led her to the Carpathian Mountains. Sure, she knew that this was where she was supposed to go for her coming-of-age ball, but that was past and gone. She wouldn't even let them know she was a Carpathian-werewolf hybrid, she would keep her thoughts silent and let her wolf control her. The mountain range was massive and it took some time for her to even reach any type of settlement. She had to stop to rest herself near a village, so she flopped down and didn't care if her midnight-black fur was matted and filthy, she'd stopped caring a long time ago.

She jumped to her feet (even if she felt wobbly because of her fatigue) and was on the defensive when she sensed a group of Carpathians approaching her. She growled in warning, but they merely slowed their pace until they reached her position, curious.

"What is it? It doesn't smell like a mere wolf," a male who looked much younger than her father, queried.

The leader, a male who oozed confidence, stated, "It must be a shapeshifter. I sensed it as soon as it came onto our land, and it's tired and hungry."

Chizuru kept growling and didn't let up, even as the leader came up to her and reached out a hand.

"Are you friend, or foe? Please change to your human form to tell us."

She let out a bark and backed into a thicket, only to yelp when the briers stabbed into her skin.

"We won't harm you as long as you don't harm us, child. We merely wish to know what your intentions are."

She was caught, and there was no way she wouldn't be able to leave without them chasing after her. She huffed and changed to her Carpathian form, making sure she kept the dirt on her to make herself hideous.

"You're Carpathian!"

"A female Carpathian!"

"Quit your gawking, you lot! Haven't you seen a woman before? Now get back to your homes, I'll handle this!"

The others grumbled as they walked back to the village. The leader reached out his hand. "You're welcome here, young one."

"I don't need your help, I can take care of myself!" she snapped, slapping his hand away. "I just stumbled upon your village by accident! After taking a rest, I was going to leave!"

"I cannot leave a female suffering like you are, young one."

"Another thing, I'm not young, I'm a fully-matured adult!"

"Really? You're so small—"

"I'm small because of my mom! She's always been a tiny woman and I didn't receive any of my dad's height!"

"You should come and rest in the village. Where's your lifemate?"

"I don't have one."

"You don't have a lifemate at your age? How can you survive?"

"Like I've done for however long I've been living."

"You shouldn't go," he commanded. "You're valuable to the males who don't have a lifemate. You have to come with me and be presented to the Prince."

Like lightning, she transformed back to her wolf form and bit his neck.

* * *

After that first attack, she wasn't afraid to lash out at anyone who tried to persuade her to go to the Prince. Sure she was needed for their people, but she DIDN'T WANT TO! She was just fine by herself and didn't need a male to take care of her.

She hadn't killed anyone, for that would've torn her soul in a way that would've been unable to be healed. Even during that first attack, she couldn't allow herself to tear his throat open and end his life. She'd bitten deep enough that he'd have trouble breathing for a while, though.

Her pace slowed as she smelled someone following her.

ATTACK! POTENTIAL CONTACT WITH LIFEMATE! MUST RUN AWAY!

Her paws ripped the earth as she scrabbled away, not wanting any reason to have to block out any mental commands.

' _Wait!'_ a female voice called. _'Chizuru, is that you?'_

She stumbled to a stop and turned to see an owl land and form a familiar female.

' _Itsuko? What're you doing here?'_

' _What do you think I'm doing? I'm out flying with my lifemate. This is the first time I've seen you since you ran away five hundred years ago!'_

Chizuru changed back to her normal form and gritted her teeth. "I don't want any contact with anyone, especially any _unattached_ males."

"You have no idea how frantic everyone's been! Uncle Aoshi and Aunt Misao have been searching everywhere! They thought you've been dead after a hundred years! You _have_ to come back with me and join our family again! My father's house is not too far from here!"

The younger female shook her head, her filthy hair flying about her face. "NO! IT ISN'T FAIR! EVEN _YOU_ HAVE FALLEN PREY TO HAVING A LIFEMATE! I DON'T WANT TO FIND MINE!"

But little did she know was that Itsuko had already contacted her father and he appeared behind her. She whirled, only to be ordered to sleep within her mind.

* * *

When she came to, she woke that she was face-to-face with her parents. She struggled, only to see she was bound to where she lie, on a bed with earth covering her skin.

"Let me go! I'm _never_ going to meet him! I don't care what you do to me! I'll just run away!"

"Would you shut the hell up, Chizuru?" her mother growled and crossed her arms over her stomach. "I thought having a lifemate was the worst thing in the world when I was younger, but I couldn't run from my destiny with him. You would've died had I resisted any further. While you were sleeping, your lifemate actually came upon you. He didn't do anything yet, he just wanted to see you after so long. You were only a kid when he saw you last."

Her eyes narrowed, but she jerked back when Kenji entered the room, clothes blinking into existence instead of the dirt. She tried to scoot backwards, but her restraints blocked her retreat. He stared at her like he'd never seen her before, like a blind man who suddenly could see. She shook her head and cried, fear shivering through her whole body, "No!"

He walked over and sat down next to her. "Chizuru, please don't fight it. I'm feeling such a whirlwind of emotions right now, seeing you in color for the first time. You're so beautiful, but I want you to accept this, as I have."

She whipped her head back and forth. "I WON'T! I HAVEN'T RUN FOR FIVE HUNDRED YEARS TO FALL NOW!"

Sadness shone in his eyes as well as frustration. "Then, I'll have to make it so you can't run from me anymore." He took a shaky breath and began to recite, "I claim you as my lifemate. I belong to you. I offer my life to you. I give to you my protection, my allegiance; my heart, my soul, and my body. I take into my keeping the same that is yours. Your life, happiness, and welfare will be cherished and placed above my own for all time. You are my lifemate, bound to me for all eternity and always in my care."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed, as she felt their souls knit together and join as one. She struggled like a madwoman against a force that could never be undone. She looked away from him, sobbing, she was so furious.

"Let them alone for now," her father urged, and both her parents left.

"LET ME GO RIGHT NOW OR I'LL TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT THE INSTANT YOU TRY TO BITE ME!"

Kenji waved his hand and her limbs were freed. She threw herself up to try and run, but he caught her in his arms and she felt herself hunger for a bite. She fought the feeling, but their bodies had come in contact with each other.

"I know you don't want this, but I don't want to fight you. I love you, Chizuru."

"Make me! Force me to be yours, for all I care! I'm just your salvation and your way to have children!"

"Didn't you hear my vow?! Your happiness is all I care about! Don't be stubborn!" he yelled, snapping his teeth at her.

"I _was_ happy, free like I was!"

"You act like I've imprisoned you!"

"You have!"

"I only want to protect you from harm! You were fortunate you didn't get snatched up by a stray vampire or vampire hunters all the time you were running! You wouldn't be able to kill to protect yourself! Even if you're half shapeshifter!"

"I hate you! You're just like my father! You'll take what you want from me and leave me for dead!"

His eyes widened and he stepped back, dumbfounded. "Huh?! I would never do that to you! If I killed you, I would follow soon after!"

"You're lying!"

"Have you seen any of the males of our unit do that to their lifemates?! If that was true, I would've never been born! Females are precious to Carpathians! I don't know where you got the idea that I would kill you after 'getting what I want', but it's a lie you've believed too long!"

He swooped down and kissed her, her will to fight disappearing as soon as their lips touched. She held onto him and felt her beast squirming beneath her skin, howling to get out. He growled as she tensed, her hands diving into his mass of crimson hair, yanking for good measure.

' _Let go of me! You're going to be bald if you don't stop this right now!'_ she shrieked in his mind.

' _I can feel the call of your body for mine! You've just blocked out your need so much you're desensitized! Open your mind to me and I'll find it for you!'_

' _NO!'_

' _Stop being so stubborn!'_

' _NO, NO, NO!'_

' _Chizuru, please!'_

The sound of her name in his voice caused her to relax and she subconsciously opened her mind to him. She shuddered as she felt him dive in, his mental touch gentle as he searched for the need for her lifemate's touch buried deep inside her. When he found it, it was ten times more intense as she realized she was wrapped around him, holding him as if she'd come home after being gone for so long to her parents, just wanting to be held so she could feel safe.

' _I'll always be here for you, Chizuru, always.'_

' _How can I believe you when you never tried to come after me?'_

' _I did, but my father told me fate would guide you back, since he suspected I was your lifemate. If I_ had _chased after you, you would've tried even harder to evade me. I didn't want you more distressed than you are now.'_

' _Just right now…I want to be held, not made love to.'_

He soothed her inside and out, resisting the call to mate, even if it made him all the more frustrated, but he hid that from his shaken lifemate. He needed her calm and reassured first, then he could be with her.

* * *

Chizuru resisted the urge to scream as she felt the barely-suppressed desire Kenji had for her as she moved about the house they'd been given once she'd been recovered. She hated that he hardly hid it after a few days, so she paced through their home, her eyes darting from the pristine walls to floors, everything perfectly clean down to the tiny dust motes that usually floated in the air. Ever since she'd let herself get filthy for nearly five centuries, she'd felt an overwhelming compulsion to make sure everything was spotless every hour on the dot, to the point where Kenji felt like tearing his hair out whenever she frantically searched for _anything_ that might soothe this _need_.

She smoothed down her kimono as she walked through the kitchen, feeling how restless he was by this. She pulled out some baby wipes as she found a dusty spot, scrubbing for a full five minutes until she was satisfied.

 _'Would you_ please _stop that.'_

 _'You know I can't.'_

 _'It's driving me insane that this fear of dirt has such a hold on you that you hardly pay any attention to_ me _! I want to be close to you, but you refuse to even_ kiss _me anymore, saying it's dirty!'_

 _'Megumi says it might pass in time.'_

He appeared in front of her, his arms around her the next second. "Chizuru, I'm sick of your excuses. You're doing this to yourself so you won't have any time for me to even _tempt_ you. We have to mate and complete our bond, or else I think turning vampire would be a more preferable experience."

She gave him a flat look. "You _think_ that I'm doing this _on purpose_."

"You've never given me anything that would claim otherwise, my lifemate."

She flinched at the word, but he ignored it this time.

"I've allowed you this for the last two weeks, but no more. You're hiding behind your desensitized barrier again so you won't want to react to my feelings for you. _Now_ , you'll _feel_."

He tore away the barrier in her mind and desire so keen it tore at her body made her scream as he brought her down to their bed and plundered her mouth, their clothes winking out of existence. She gasped as he growled, their bodies joining together in virgin sex that made them both roaring their need for each other and then clamping down on the other's neck to drink deeply.

They relaxed after and she shoved at him. He opened an eye and growled, "What?"

"Doesn't it bother you?"

He groaned and rolled off of her. "You do know you could just use your power…never mind."

She'd run into the bathroom, turned on the water on its hottest temperature and dove under the spray, scrubbing with both nails and soap. _'So dirty...have to get it off…'_

 _'If you're like this now, how will you be when we have a child? Children are naturally messy.'_

Her incessant scrubbing stopped dead as she froze. A…child? But that would mean for them to do this again every time she ovulated, which, due to her half-shapeshifter genes, was so often she was surprised that she wasn't with this first time. She was still half-Carpathian, so she was cursed to suffer more miscarriages than live births, and even those were usually cut off due to high infant mortality up to the first year. She'd have to demand there be no sex, no matter how much her body called for it! Even removing a miscarriage was dirty, so, so, _so DIRTY!_

Kenji prodded against her mental block and she shoved him away, screaming, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Stop shutting me out and I will!" he called from the other room.

"No matter how much everyone says I love you, I just don't realize it yet, it's ALL A LIE! I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THIS EARTH FOR DOING THIS TO ME! YOU'RE WORSE THAN IF I'D GOTTEN CAPTURED BY A VAMPIRE AND HE'D TURNED ME!"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she tore at her skin with her sharp nails, blood running down the drain. He was there the next moment, eyes wide in shock at the blood spilling down her front. Horror flooded his body before he ordered, _'Sleep until I order you to wake.'_

 _'STOP—'_

But darkness surrounded her as her heart and lungs stopped and she fell limp.

* * *

Kenji paced like an animal as his father-in-law healed his mate of the deep lacerations. "I don't understand why she'd do this to herself! I've tried everything from being sweet to compulsion! We were such good friends when we were young, I thought she wouldn't protest against being my lifemate!"

Aoshi, ghostly as he searched through his daughter's body for any further damage from her nails, he _pushed_ something he noticed, even if he knew this would anger her further. "You're not at fault, Kenji. Misao may have traumatized her with unnecessary stories of the unfortunate circumstances of how we met and became lifemates. She's had a penchant for being clean since birth, and allowing herself to be filthy for five hundred years caused her to become a molysmophobe of the highest degree. I believe these scratches are due to your first mating."

"But she told me that me being her lifemate was worse than a vampire turning her!"

"If she'd ever encountered one while she'd fled from you, she'd never say that. She may be over five hundred years old, but her mind is still a fledgling's. She's lashing out because she doesn't know the truth beyond the grumblings of her mother."

"I told her, but she didn't believe me!"

"Then she also believes that lifemates can lie to each other."

Aoshi brought himself back into his body when he found no other damage to Chizuru's body. He petted her head and smiled. "Take care of her, Kenji. She's more fragile than she acknowledges herself to be. Love her, don't get caught in meaningless squabbles, and let her find out how wonderful it is to be mated at her own pace."

"It took us _weeks_ to get to this point, and her reaction was to tear her skin off, Aoshi! How can I have patience with her when she's done nothing but push me away except this one time?!"

The younger male scrubbed his hands through his hair in utter frustration.

"Kenji, calm yourself. You're newly mated, so your emotions are raw. You had to wait far longer for your lifemate due to her stubbornness, but rushing in isn't the way to breach her defenses. She's supposed to heal you, but due to her fragility and naiveté, you'll have to heal her first."

"Father's not happy with how much she's struggling with me, but Mother thinks that I shouldn't follow her into each and every fight she starts. Why won't she calm, even if she…why didn't I think of that?!"

"What is it?"

"When was the last time she slept in the ground?"

"Are you suggesting she's unstable due to the lack of sleep in the earth?"

"Yes. It has to be, or else she wouldn't be this unreasonable!"

"Then take her and see. You have the ability to seal her in the earth until she's completely healed, even if the separation will hurt you both."

"You actually think she's gone insane due to not sleeping as she should for five centuries?"

"She didn't notice it, so none of us did. Your flash of inspiration will save your relationship. Now go, she needs healing more than I could ever manage."

Kenji nodded and muttered, "Maybe this is payback for me being such a jerk when Saito claimed Tokio."

Aoshi smiled in amusement as the red-haired male disappeared with his mate.

* * *

 _Seven months later…_

Chizuru opened her eyes and felt rested, calm, with more energy than she'd had in so long. She looked around and saw she was in bed, only to feel a presence beyond her own in the room. She sat up, only to grimace as her back screamed at her. She held her back, only to look down at herself.

 _'How long was I asleep? Did I really get pregnant so fast after the first mating I had with Kenji? If I'm this big, I have to be close to giving birth. I feel so much better than I have in centuries, like I've been washed clean with purified water. It feels so good…'_

She held herself with a contented smile, then stroked her belly as she whispered, "I'm happy to see you're going to be here soon, my baby."

She began to sing a lullaby Tomoe had taught her, to soothe her baby. She stood carefully and felt the happiness of the baby inside her, which made her smile soften. _'I can't wait to see your beautiful eyes…I hope they're like mine.'_

 _'I never thought you'd wake up,'_ Kenji murmured as he intruded on her mind.

 _'What do you mean?'_

 _'You don't remember what happened?'_

 _'You put me to sleep after I screamed at you, I thought it was to shut me up.'_

 _'Why would I be so callus? You're my lifemate, and I didn't even know you were pregnant until I brought you up from the earth.'_

She expected to shudder from the thought of sleeping in the normal way of her people, but not that much. She didn't feel dirty, so it must've not been that bad.

 _'You hadn't slept in the ground for five hundred years, it was no wonder you were so unhinged. I'm surprised that you weren't completely insane from the lack of true sleep.'_

 _'I slept on the ground, it seemed good enough at the time.'_

 _'Do you believe me now when I tell you that I cherish you from the bottom of my heart?'_

She murmured aloud, "Not unless you tell it to my face, I won't."

With a swirl of mist, he appeared and kissed her. "I cherish you from the bottom of my heart, Chizuru. You forgive me?"

"Yes, I do. I'm sorry for freaking out on you, Kenji."

"So do you love me?"

She closed her eyes with a smile. "I love you, Kenji Himura. I won't run away or freak out anymore. This I vow to you as your lifemate."

He held her close and murmured, "Thank you, lifemate. Our bond is complete, now that you've returned my love."

She nodded, happy for the first time in her life.

* * *

And that's the end!

 **Angle1** , thanks for writing your series which inspired me once again!

P.S., I hadn't read further than Chapter 15 of "Endure My Love", so I didn't know certain facts about how Chizuru shouldn't have gone into a deep sleep while pregnant. :(

Please review!


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